They always tell me the same old stuff. Dont give up a forest for the tree. The grass will be greener else where. I always fall for only 1 girl and it dumb.

-.- Whats wrong with loving one girl only. I dont see any one of it giving you guys problem so why come around and tell me your problems. I loved her. So yea. Fuck me right? Every. Single. Time. I emo and people think of me as a degenerate. A social outcast and pessimist. Heck, now i cant even keep to myself and pod over my own problems? I have to face ridiculous advises this, on that. I dont even know what to do anymore. So people fret over my problem and made it their own too. Alright i understand that bros stand for me. Some are great friends, but others just need to keep their distance.

And it seems like i'm not going to have my life extended or so, and the deadline for me is dragging closer. Looks like i'm going to die young after all. Or maybe i could at least finish what i want to do before i start doing stupid. I need to start planning my overseas escape, to work overseas, live on the go and start trying to enjoy travelling. Reading travel guides on Europe... Australia...Japan.... Doesnt really help that much. Even more so for Japan. =) I really want to start a backpacking trip before everything starts hitting me face on. going through Melbourne to Sydney, from there on to Gold Coast, to Brisbane and all the way up... Going from Osaka to kyushu prefectures one by one, heading towards Mt. Fuji in general direction from there on and head into town area. Walk Akihabara until i can memorize the the layout, familiarize myself with promotions now and then. And.. Finally head to Europe where it seems all grand and peachy. Take up language as i travel and work. Maybe in F&B, work my ass off.

Then again, its just me dreaming. =( I'm socially obligated to produce results for my parents and Uni isn't making it any easier for me. Try to not care about grades and i start falling into the red. (Or red isnt that red since i am considered average).

Oh god i wanna have a girlfriend
T.T